Monday, August 22, 2016


I should probably post the link to the InPhenite Litters page.  Sigh.

Life IS a Bitch.

Wow.   Life is full of little surprises.  Opa! is pregnant.  

WTF! Are you kidding me?????  

This wasn't an accident; J hooked Opa! & Kamiah up on a not-so-blind date.  True: Kamiah is no slouch.  Not only was he a great lure courser in his own right (#4 Life Time breed Lure Courser), but his kids are good too.  He was Bados' dad and dad of Cartier & Rosie, who are great lure coursers & friends, but STILL.  Puppies are a big responsibility & a nuisance.
OMG Opa! was such a SLUT while in heat.  Yeah, J got the 2 on a date, but Opa! could have kept her tail between her legs . . . she could have bit Kam's nose off, but Nooooo . . . She flagged that tail around to any dog that came in sight.  

J is already distracted by Opa!'s waddling & being snippy with Conner's mindless leaping to & fro.  What will happen when there are cutesy little puppies squeaking & squawking?
She already decided not to take Conner & me to both a show & a lure cursing event due to fear of our bringing home some infection. Seriously?  Yippee about missing the show, but skipping an LC event?  How am I supposed to maintain my #1 Singles title if I don't get to compete?

Whatever . . . I am sure they will be cute (but irritating).  They are due in early September.   J is keeping one for sure, but help me out fans . . . don't let her be tempted to keep more.

I should probably post a link to InPhenite's puppy page.  (sigh)

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Some fans heard that I had a busy weekend & have requested that I post.  Like . . . it's best to get news straight from the SmartAss Bitch's mouth, right?

Well, in April J decided we should go to the EastCoast Silken Windbound Regional Specialty.  She really wants to support ISWS's new Altered Championship track.  Even though I beat Conner at Silkenfest, Conner earned the 1st ISWS ALCh.  Whatever, (IMHO) I could have beat him to it, but J had taken him to more shows recently.  Now she has come to her senses, J wanted to take me.

Neither J nor I particularly like flying to events, but her work does not always cooperate with time off for driving.  I prefer direct flights even if we end up flying into & driving from a city a tad further than necessary from the event.  Airline connections make the crate time longer & fray J's nerves.  For this trip we were supposed to fly into Charlotte, NC rather than Greensboro which was much closer, for example.
The problem?  Well, somehow despite J making our reservation in early April & confirming MY reservation (as checked luggage) on several occasions - even earlier on the date of travel - the airline "forgot" that dogs can't be checked on "Airbus" - at least not the one that flies direct from PDX to Charlotte.  They called her only a few hours before our scheduled departure.  Seriously?????

Their only option was a flight ~7 hours later with a connection in Dallas, TX.  Bonus - it flew into Greensboro which is closer to Siendo, NONbonus?  This arrival was still was 10 hours later than 'planned'.  PLUS our return had to be early Sunday morning; ~8 hours earlier than 'planned' from Charlotte.  No Sunday LGRA for me.  Grrr.  We essentially lost 2 days of visiting with friends.  OK, J got to have dinner with friends  Friday, but did I??????  No, I ate Sojo's at the hotel.
J was SERIOUSLY stressed about our having connecting flights (vs direct).   It did not help when I was kind of 'abandoned' outside the 1st plane while awaiting transport to the connecting plane.  In the pic, there I sit: in front of the hot engine. J was getting a tad hysterical . . .

At the smaller 2nd plane; however, they were careful to put me under a wing for shade, gave me water, & periodically came to check on me (J watched from the window before boarding).  I liked the American Eagle crew much better than the earlier folk.  At Greensboro they actually got me to J & out of the crate faster than she got her luggage.
(note: an earlier crew - maybe even before leaving PDX may have given me water, too)

The next morning it was "Showtime".  ISWS puts Altereds just after the little puppies.  I'm cool with that.  At beauty pageants (aka dog shows), by the end of the day - when its BOB time for the intact hounds), I'm bored to tears & exhausted from boredom.  I am sure I do better getting the poking & prodding done with earlier -- perhaps that's why stupid little Conner managed to beat me at some UKC shows.
My competition for Best Altered Bitch & the Best Altered was tough - Breezy & Ziggy from Texas plus Aiden (Opa's uncle - her mom's brother).  Both Ziggy & Breezy have beaten me on occasion, but I wasn't having THAT today . . . not after the unpleasant travel.  I needed a PRIZE.  Wow, and did I get one? Yes! 2 tough chew toys, a tote, flashy ribbons, & a sassy T-shirt for J (my bitch). I heard a rumor that there's even a win pic from the photographer.  I'll look AWESOME.
 Later I even got to race!!!!  (LOVE IT!) I almost never get to race in Oregon.  OK, maybe this is a little bit my fault - I admit that I can get pissy if being passed.  Just an air snap; that's it; I swear!!  Anyway, this was not an issue here as the LGRA meets were hand-slipped.  J in her "inphenite" wisdom told Keith & Iola to release me LATE.  G*dDamn!  I had to play catch up every time.  In the 1st race I was a touch put off by the leaders getting snippy themselves (both were pretty new to the game), but in the 2nd program I showed them what I can do with proper motivation.  I smoked 'em.  See ya!  In the 3rd program, I was against some real speedsters - so it was NO FAIR that Keith released me late.  I could not catch them with a late start.  Sigh. I could also whine about rain delays, etc ... but it is what it is.  Honestly, I have no idea how I did overall because they stopped running due to lightning & thundershowers.  Actually they only ran "my" 3rd race because they knew J had to leave before they planned to finish the following day. It cleared for a moment & off we went!  I've heard a rumor that I won something -- but I am sure it's not "too" big  as I did not win that last program.
Damn the airlines & their errors, we had to leave this morning - through Dallas, TX.  J was freaking out because the high there was supposed to be >85F - but our connection was early in the day.  Despite, her concerns this trip, at least, was uneventful - but I really needed to poop & pee ASAP upon arrival.

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Home Sweet Home

I guess I should post one last time for Silkenfest 2016.

Monday after the racing, Rob & J decided to make a concerted effort at finding a REALLY good Texas dining experience.  Rob had been cursed at restaurants . . . bringing the wrong entree, not having what he ordered (& forgetting to tell him & get an alternative order), etc.

They came back smelling extraordinary . . . it was the intoxicating aroma of smoked meat.  Our meal had been in NO WAY comparable.  J had fed us 'the usual'.   However, have I mentioned that Rob is a soft touch?  He snuck us a sample of the beef "shoulder clod".  WOW.  Tasty, tasty.  I wanted more, but neither Conner nor Opa! would share their bites.  (
J says she 'honored' us dogs by ordering the Noble Rey's "Off the Leash" beer; Keith, the human with Dior (Opa's Dad), drank 3-legged Lab Stout - but we are not Labs.  Hmph.

On Tuesday we came home.  I guess the trip was uneventful, but we were at the airport forever (IMHO), and it took forever for Rob to get the van from parking (IMHO).   Once finally home; I had to put up with Wicka's crazy over-excitement at seeing us again.  OMG - we were only gone a few days.

In summary, it was a successful trip.  Although I decided to have some fun rather than repeat my Silkenfest LC Singles win (settling for 2nd),  I did make history by winning ISWS's 1st offered Silkenfest conformation Altered BIS.
My work here is done; perhaps I should retire . . .
Just kidding!  I plan to attend Silkenfest next year & continue to show everyone how it's done -- well, ow it SHOULD be done (IM-not so-HO).

Monday, March 21, 2016

Silkenfest Lure Coursing (one day late)

OK, so Saturday was the beauty pageant (which I won - at least the 'Altered' competition), but I only reported on this yesterday.  Yesterday was Lure Coursing, and I will report on it today.

I did not win Singles again.  Sorry, fans.  I could not restrain myself.  I ran the prelims more conventionally than my usual - hell, it was cold - I just wanted to keep moving.  My scores were great . . . but I could tell that my audience was somewhat disappointed.  People, who should be warming up their own hounds,  don't linger by the field just to see me run like other dogs.  They want to see a little flare.  In the finals I did not disappoint.  I declined to run into the far field, but waited by the line for the lure to return to me; I also moved into it's path along the 'homestretch' for a 'stalk & kill' maneuver.  What fun!

My scores were not good, but not dismal either (some judges have no imagination, but this set seemed to 'get it').  From that point on, it was up to the competition to do their best.  I had left open an opportunity for defeat.  Ah, well, Wyeth answered the challenge with enough skill to beat my combined score.  Singles #1 = Wyeth; #2 me, Agent Gita.

For the rest of the competition, (Open, FCh,  Veteran) there were many good runs.  Opa! did not contribute to this, but Conner did.  Her 1st & only run was a mess.  Lots of bumping after the start, and some more serious fault from one of the hound.  That one hound was dismissed; Opa! was excused for the day.  Silly girl.

Conner's runs were better and looked pretty good to me (as 'conventional' runs go), but they did not score fabulously.  He still managed to be 6th in Open.  Sienna won this, of course.  She runs like I might if I didn't like to add the creativity.  The Field Champion Stakes was won by Cartier - last year's top ASFA Silken; and Enzo edged out Tootsie for Veteran.

And the winner is . . . . ? Sienna.  She's a hot shit, right now.

I guess I can throw in the basics of today's LGRA results.  Whatever,  J won't let me compete (Bitch).
To summarize: Matt Cortez's Nova won, followed by Logan (also High Score Vet), then Pippin (High Score Altered), followed by Sienna.  Conner - the goofy boy whose enthusiasm is excessive to the point of ridiculous - was down at 12 or 13, but out of 31 entries, so that is not so bad.

Finally, there was that Texas Tough Triathlon: Best in all 3 events over the weekend - the 'all-around hound' . . . . it turned out a Pacific Northwest Sweep:
#4 Conner (InPhenite's own dufus -- well, THAT was a SURPRISE)
#3 Pagani
#2 Moon . . . & #1?
Sienna, our little regional hot shit.

Sunday, March 20, 2016

Silkenfest Conformation Day

OK, so this post is a day late & many already learned the results form posts by Lydia (Rio the WonderDog's human), but I feel compelled to chime in.  All of my fans may not be in one of the Windhounds' Facebook groups.
The show started with baby puppies.  I suppose they are cute, but SO childish.  I declined to watch & have no idea who won.  I'm sure Lydia posted this if you really want to know.

Next on the Agenda was the Altered Conformation competition.  This is a new thing for ISWS; they've always had "Companion" classes (I've won these many, MANY times), but there was no Championship track for Altereds.  Once we started competing with UKC - which does have Altered Championships and Grand Championships - & once dogs like my pal Ziggy & I started competing in these classes & earning the titles.  ISWS' "Companion" class did not hold the same panache it once did.  Anyway, ISWS stepped up to the plate & there is now an Altered Ch track for me to compete in.

They start with the boys.  The competition there was pretty steep.  It included Zephyr in Open, Rio the WonderDog, (who has many skills & who had even won Silkenfest via the Veteran's class in Kalamazoo), Ziggy (the 1st Silken UKC ALGrCH), and goofy Conner (my housemate - who had recently won a triad of UKC Altered Best in Multibreed Show's at his 1st UKC event.  Shocking, I know).  Anyway, lo & behold: Conner won AL Winners Dog.  Well, knock me over with a feather . . .  Rio was 2nd & Ziggy, 3rd.

Ok, my turn:  There was also steep competition among us bitches.  2 newbies, Saratoga & Piper, were in Novice (I forget which won); and Open included steep competition. Fudge, Tru & Breezy (both UKC ALChs & sisters of my deceased housemate, Bados), and me, of course.    What can I say, . . . the British judge was a very sharp woman (Gill Grist), I won AL Winners Bitch.

Let's see . . . I'll do a real quick summary of the Regular big stuff . . .
What?? Best Altered in the show?  Well, me, of course.  What did you expect?  J had tried to stack the deck in Conner's favor, I think, by having Jane Taylor show him -- Jane's highly skilled at this -- but Conner is a dufus & too ridiculous.  They had to switch back because he was kind of losing it (Momma's boy).  Anyway, just to show J who is in charge (me), I did not pull any tricks on Jane; so I won.  No problem.

Ok, my quick summary:
Best Puppy: Celeste (same dad as my housemate Opa! & sister to Wesley, who J co-owns)
Veteran Dog:  my 1/2 brother, Dmitri
Veteran Bitch & Best Veteran:  our friend, Tootsie
Winners Dog: Diamond; Reserve:  our friend, Moon
Best Opposite Sex: the ever handsome Wyeth
Awards of Merit:  Our friends Taser & Tootsie (again); Marshmallow Creme, Deuce, & Cooper
Winners Bitch & Best of Breed:  Zee -- aka Winsome Zenyatta at Attaway

That's enough for now.  I'll leave Lure coursing results until tomorrow & combine it with racing; I don't straight race in any case.

Saturday, March 19, 2016


Agent Gita has asked me to send her apologies.  She's been partying this evening (and I had to go present the BadAss Trophy).  She promises to post news tomorrow.  J

Yeah - & J is having her wifi connection issues again.  Gita